i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
