I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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