Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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