I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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