i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
