He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
