haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
