I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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