there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
