Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
