i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
