i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
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