I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
