sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
