Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
