he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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