i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
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