This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
