walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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