You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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