You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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