but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
