you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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