my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
