I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
