around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
