Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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