Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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