Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I believe in your delicious
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
