I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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