dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
