So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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