moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
