FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
