the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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