dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
