I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
