haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
