Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i think i have two assholes
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
