afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If I die, sorry about rent.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
