He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
