Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
