pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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