she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
