carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
where are you?
Hypothermia
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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