Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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