I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
