I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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