Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
