Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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