Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
