I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
