If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He better not be in your backpack
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
