I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
