I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
