I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You took a bar mat shot.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
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