areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think I died a long time ago.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
