Someone shit on the floor
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
