Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
