What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize