I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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