I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
