I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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